Posts Tagged With: They Fight Crime

Why I’m wanted for murder!

Fresh on the heels of “They Fight Crime!” comes the Instant True Story Generator by Nathaniel Jones.  Go ahead, click it.  You deserve a laugh.

Shakespeare this is not.  In fact, when I read this, I hear the voice of Napoleon Dynamite (“Gosh!”).  But for random computer-generated hi jinks, this is pretty funny stuff.  Here’s what I got:

“One time while I was in ‘Nam, while fighting a dragon, I happened to hear on the television that I was wanted for murder! And I was like, ‘geeze, not again.’ After that my animal instinct kicked in and I turned this to my advantage and showed off my kung fu moves.

“But the real show stopper was this: my car broke down. And when I say broke down, I mean that when I turned it on, it exploded in a huge ball of fire that caused millions of dollars in property damage. It’s just a good thing I had my seat belt on, or I could have died right then. Luckily, my new fighting technique is unstoppable and so I was able to make the world a better place for all the little children.

“And, to make a long story short, that’s why I get free coffee now.”

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